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Author Topic: Is my writing good?  (Read 421 times)

Offline Wryfinch

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Is my writing good?
« on: November 08, 2015, 12:45:37 PM »
Like... this is good, right? I know that this board is populated with Ww fanfics, and I kinda what to write something big like that but I dunno where to start so I'm just sampling some things I wrote yesterday.

[prose]
"Doctor Locklear, please, please let me go. I won't tell a soul what you do. I'll even support your ideals! I'll give you names, tell you house numbers, anything!" Empty lies; there was no way I would ever support this lunatic, but I was getting desperate. I could smell the stale blood and bile on his hooded cloak, on the beaked plague doctor's mask that was carried by his side. "Please, have mercy," I whimpered. "Just--" The words froze on my tongue as Locklear suddenly looked up from his work to pierce me with an ice-cold glare.
"You really should think before you speak, dear," he said softly. The even voice was so different from the anger in his eyes. He sounded almost mocking.  "I'm not merciful at all. Justice can be a cruel mistress, but at least she deals righteous sentences. Unlike some cowards, I am determined to keep on her good side."
The madman abandoned the worktable of medical equipment, walking over to my gurney. As he leaned over, black-gloved hand gently stroking my cheek when I flinched, his voice changed to a friendlier tone. Soothing, open, almost condescendingly fond... I hated it. I hated myself for wanting to hear him out. "Mercy isn't the kindhearted soul you think she is. She allows criminals to escape, terrorize good citizens, and resume their hunt for human blood. I just want to make a difference. Surely you understand."
[/prose]

Sorry if this is on the wrong board.


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Offline Tom

Re: Is my writing good?
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2015, 01:01:42 PM »
This thread seems to be in the perfect place IMO  (:

Your writing does seem good! It's kinda hard to gauge when you're just looking at hammy evil stuff though. Anyone can write hammy evil stuff. Could you maybe include some other excerpts? (I have the advantage of having read a few of your other things on a previous thread :D)

This evil dude sounds a bit like a Mourner though so I approve



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Offline Wryfinch

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Re: Is my writing good?
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2015, 01:34:12 PM »
Hmm, yeah. Hammy evil is just so easy and fun, though.

So here, have more prose.

[prose]
"Lanner, what are you doing?" I asked, stifling a snicker as the happy, pudgy brown puppy rolled around on the floor with the kitchen cleaning rags in his grinning mouth. "Put them down, boy! Quickly, before Mom gets here!" I whispered frantically, gesturing 'come' to the pup. Of course, the little rascals never did listen to me. The lab mix woofed, wagged, and zoomed off in the opposite direction, seeming to laugh in my dashed hopes.
"Come back here, rag thief!" I yelled, half-fury and half-amusement as I scrambled off the wooden stool to chase after the mischeivous mutt. Oh, why did I have to get puppies? Even the most well-behaved ones went bonkers around me. I sighed in resignment before giving chase. This was going to be a long day.
[/prose]


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Offline Tom

Re: Is my writing good?
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2015, 02:02:16 PM »
Still seems pretty cool to me. :) I'll back off and let someone else have an opinion lol ^^

(And hells yeah I love writing hammy evil)



thanks vegas for the avatar, moss for the blinkie & darksight for the signature

Quote from: Darkstar
i actually happen to love a good fruitcake