yes... the college thing... don't remind me...
I go to a small private school about two hours from home, in the pacific northwest. I'm going into my senior year and I'm a French major with a children's literature & culture minor.
the idea of even being near schools as big as some of yours scares me, yeesh, my school is a lot smaller. like a lot.
"... approximately 3,300 students enrolled. As of 2015, the school employs 216 full-time professors on the 156-acre (630,000 m2) woodland campus."
anyway yeah I go back at the beginning of September, and I have a book I'm supposed to be reading before then and an audition to be practicing for but I just can't get myself to do them ;; I feel like I should like school but I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed depression and anxiety that make me really struggle and want to stop existing instead of doing work and it's making it really hard. like I'm really struggling with the idea of going back to a senior seminar that I have no idea what it'll be like, a lit class that will probably be like the one that gave me anxiety/panic attacks whenever I couldn't do the readings (which was like every day), an art class that, while it's only art 101, i've never taken an art class before, especially not at college level, and it'll probably be way more effort and busywork than I can handle, along with the fact I can only draw cats....... AND I'll have the usual symphony and lessons
well. at least I don't have classes on Fridays
in addition to those classes fall semester, I'll have to prepare for my January Martinique stay (the syllabus for which looks frightening too)
but. Martinique is the last class I need to graduate, so then I'll be done before spring semester. i'm so excited to get out of school hell, but I'll really miss my symphony friends and I'm heartbroken I probably won't get to play with them at all in the spring. unless somehow I can find a place to live in town and a job so I can be a community member... which judging from how successful my adult life has been so far I kind of doubt. (I've never had a job and I don't think I have enough skills, motivation, or confidence to do like. anything. how am i supposed to find a job i can do)
so I'm really excited to get out of a place that make me suffer but I'm not really for the real world at all. help. heeeeeeeeelp
but dorm-wise this semester I should be a bit happier! my first year I was in an all-girls dorm which, while it wasn't bad, a lot of the events/meetings were social-justice themed and like... it was just too much... my next two years I lived in the French wing of the language building which was really fun because we had things like french movie nights, dinner with the faculty, emails [partially] in french... it was good practice, even if we all kind of. didn't end up SPEAKING a lot of french ever.
but this year I'm moving into the upper-division dorm, into a wing with my best friend, and I hope I'll actually make friends with the people :') there's one girl in particular who I liked seeing and my friend said she wanted to know me too (we're very similar people apparently) so like. yeahhhhh
I actually lived in that exact wing (in my best friend's FUTURE ROOM) in june when I was taking my summer class. I wd40'd the horrifyingly squeaky closet doors. i hope she appreciates me.
(I wrote most of this post on my new phone with ~~~gesture typing~~~ there's bound to be something in here i missed when proofreading. I hope it's funny)